As a general rule, I don’t like anything that I write. Usually though, I can see that it doesn’t suck; I can usually see when I’m writing something that other people will like. How do I know when I’m not? Simple. When I sit down to write, whether it’s on paper or on my laptop, I have music on. Once I start writing, the music fades into the background; that is what I like to call being in ‘The Zone’. It means that I’m writing furiously, that what I write most likely won’t suck. That badly, anyway.

And that is how I know that what I’m writing right now is awful; I’m actually singing along with the music. It’s just so much more difficult to get into writing when you have a deadline. And yes, I know this is my own fault. I realise this. That doesn’t help me, nor does it make writing any easier. I should have started a lot earlier, but I couldn’t make up my mind on the topic. In fact, I’ve had to change it since I started writing, because, well.. it was just a terrible idea.

I know that none of what I’m saying is new, and most of it is experienced by every other person who has to write something at some stage in their life. I know that. I also know that nothing I write is going to be as unique or as good as I want it to be, and that’s frustrating, even more so than not being able to get into ‘The Zone’. I want to be able to write well, to write stuff that people remember, that people are inspired by. Right now, I’m not feeling like that will ever happen.

Sucks to be me, huh?

I know, I know. This post is a cop-out. I promise to tell you all about my day tomorrow though.

Seven Things I Take With Me Everywhere:

• Lipgloss. I use a French Vanilla flavoured lipgloss from Mentholatum, and it goes everywhere with me.
• Purse. I always take ID with me, just in case I get killed or something. You never know.
• Mobile phone. When I forget it, I tend to freak out a little. I like to be reachable by my family.
• Planner. If I didn’t have a diary, I would never get anything done. I MUST have it with me.
• A pen. I always have a pen or pencil with me, and usually some sort of notebook, too.
• Camera. Although I’ve been slack lately, I generally take my camera with me, everywhere.
• Food. I generally always have some sort of food with me. It isn’t my fault that everything is so delicious.

There you have it. Don’t you feel better for knowing those things about me, now?

…

I thought so.

Gentil came over for dinner tonight. I keep expecting things to be awkward, but so far they haven’t been. That, is totally awesome. Heh. =) I love the fact that we’re still friends, and after some of the things we discussed today I firmly believe that we will remain close. I also believe that we’re going to be able to move on without the on-again, off-again crap that a lot of couples (seem to) go through. That relieves me, a lot, because I really hate that.

After I walked Gentil to the bus stop, I ended up playing Monopoly with my sisters. Now, I know that you’re all probably thinking ‘Didn’t you learn anything last time?’, but the game actually ended up being a lot of fun. Katie and Tiffany have figured out that houses and hotels mean that you can make more money. Unfortunately, they don’t quite understand all of the different amounts. This results in some amusing trades.

During the course of the game, Katie traded Tiffany a property that was worth more than two million dollars for “that one, that one, and that one”. She was literally just picking notes at random, and ended up getting 80k for it! Then, she traded me a $3,000,000 property for $20,000. I was just about dying from laughter, but - get this - it gets better. After she traded us, she starts cackling before loudly proclaiming, “Um, I’m just doing this to get rich, guys.”

As if we were the ones being ripped off. Priceless, I tell you.

Editing today was awesome. We met our new teacher, Melanie, and although at first she seemed a little arrogant, by the end of the lesson I knew that I would really enjoy her classes. I think that she was nervous at first, and since she hasn’t taught in something like ten years, I can easily imagine her coming across differently to begin with. Melanie has nothing to worry about though; everyone really enjoyed her class, and she has so much relevant experience she’s sure to find it easy.

Melanie also introduced some new ideas into the class. She wants us to begin keeping track of the books we read, and writing about 150 words on each one in a logbook. Apparently she would like us to have about 40 books in there by the end of the year. Forty. That’s like.. 2 months of reading for me. Sometimes only one month! Melanie said she wants to look through them at the end of the year, to see how our critical reading skills have developed.

I’m struggling to write a short story at the moment.. really struggling. I hate everything that I write, it all seems so rubbish, and I hate it all. Le sigh. I don’t usually like anything I write, but most of the time I can see that it doesn’t SUCK. Or well, maybe I’m deluding myself. I know other writers get blocked at times, and I understand that it pretty much comes with the territory, but that doesn’t make it any less difficult. Yes, it’s true: creativity is a fickle master.

I better get back to my homework, I guess. Meh.

Well, my Easter break is officially over as of today. I had a Journalism class today, and can I just say this: I suck at writing reviews in class. I suck badly. I must get too nervous or something, I’m not really sure, but EVERYTHING that I write down in my Journalism class is just.. crap. That being said, today we got our precede results back and - wait for it - I got a Distinction! Apparently I was in the minority, too.. most of the class got a Pass or a Credit. Ouch - but good news, yes?

Ian told Natalie, Helen and me today that Kirstie isn’t teaching our Editing class any more:

Me: “How is it that you’re the only one who knows this?”
Ian: “I don’t know.. I check my e-mail?”
Natalie and Me: “I checked my e-mail this morning!”
Helen: “Who are you sleeping with?”

I think Helen had ’sleeping your way to the top’ on her mind, because later on we were critiquing a TropFest short film, and David told us that the little girl who starred in the winning film actually won Best Actress. Helen’s first response? “Who did her mother sleep with?” She’s quite the character, Helen. I remember in the second week, she used the term ‘bogan’, and it’s become something of an in-house joke for those of us who have classes with her.

I just had to delete everything off my iPod, because for some reason it wouldn’t update for me, or show up in the iTunes menu. Man, I hate iTunes; why hasn’t anyone come up with a reasonable equivalent? I’d be willing to pay, even! Now I have to add all of that music into iTunes and sync it across. *sigh* At least I have it all backed up, I guess. Imagine if I was using my iPod to store stuff, and I had to wipe it? Now THAT is a scary thought.

Playing Monopoly with eight year olds is one of those ideas that seems like fun, but is in fact a cleverly disguised bottomless pit of hell. Young children aren’t very good at losing, and in Monopoly there is really only one winner. Generally I am crap at Monopoly, and often take out last place - even when I’m playing with my sisters. For some reason this time, I was kicking ass; by the time I was on my third lap of the board I had eight properties and the girls had like, one.

Obviously, they didn’t like that, and started getting all pouty and grumpy. We decided to take a break from Monopoly so that they could get over it, and I think we’ll try to continue the game tomorrow. The girls are in bed right now - they actually go to sleep without much fuss now - and I’m playing Ultima Online right now, relaxing. Speaking of Ultima Online, I found this awesome comic today that uses a few fantastic UO references, and you should check it out.

Um, yes. That is all.

Much of today was spent setting up my bedroom and unpacking things. Or, if you want to get technical about it, I unpacked and then repacked things. It’s amazing how much junk we cart around because of sentimental value, it really is. I managed to get almost everything sorted out though, and tomorrow I hope to take pictures of my bedroom while it’s still clean. Because you know in a few days (hours) it’s going to be messy (torn apart) again.

I feel like I don’t have much to say tonight, and that’s probably because, well.. I don’t. I mean, my day was quite boring, okay? I cleaned, I moved furniture, I spent time with my family, and now I’m playing UO. I guess the biggest problem is that I was so stressed and tired today that I didn’t take notes (or pictures, sadly) throughout the day, so now I can’t remember what was really going on. I hate forgetting things; that’s one of the reasons I began blogging.

Still, I almost always find something to write about, don’t I? If you ignore the massive numbers of ‘filler’ posts I have done, that is. I always have a good excuse, okay? Don’t judge me. I think everyone has felt as though they simply couldn’t sit down and write coherently at times, and especially over the past few days, I have felt like that. My writing has suffered for it, I’m sure; this is especially important now that my school work is reliant on my writing.

I have a short story due for work-shopping by the 31st of March, and I think now I’m ready to actually begin writing. I have the whole concept laid out, but the writing was proving difficult. I’m going to sit down and write tomorrow, and see what happens. Even if I don’t like what I’m writing at first, I know that the simple act of sitting down and writing will limber up my fingers, much like alcohol does to the tongue. Hopefully with less disastrous results.

I am coping with the break up a lot better than I thought I would, although looking back on past experiences I don’t know why I thought I would fall apart. I generally cope (as most people do) with everything and anything that life throws my way - this has been no different. The most difficult time for me is at night.. I have nothing to distract me, and when you’re used to the other side of the bed being occupied, it feels very cold and empty.

I must say though, I don’t miss the snoring!