Just to give you an idea of how awful the girls are being at the moment: tonight they had a twenty minute argument about whose eyes were bluer. I KNOW. I’m living with it, and it is impossible to express in words how terrible they are right now. They spent fifteen minutes after that argument chasing one another up and down the hallway, squealing at the top of their lungs, ‘She’s gonna hit me!’

I used to hope and pray and WISH for a sister closer to my age; in fact I’ve always wanted to be a twin. Right now, I am SO glad that I didn’t have a sister growing up. They are so nasty and manipulative; constantly trying to get each other into trouble, or hurt one another. Did I mention I’m reconsidering the children thing?

I think Mum is reconsidering at the moment as well; one of those lapses in faith that mothers have from time to time. I know that other mothers feel like it as well, that they often feel like failures, that they don’t know what they’re doing. They feel like their children are insane, out of control, little monsters. That they are the only parent on the planet to ever have those problems; no one else’s children would behave so atrociously.

They can, and do; I know this because I read blogs that are blunt and truthful about child-rearing, and you know what? They all feel like that at times. In fact, some of those times are whole stretches of time. Motherhood is apparently not quite the blessing that (outwardly) many mothers would have us believe.

On a somewhat lighter note, I am redesigning the site. Again. I just want something.. lighter. White background, clean cut with those little flairs that really make the whole design. I have ideas, but so far haven’t actually sat down to create anything. I will, eventually. I’m also trying to streamline the categories and get a tag cloud set up. I will probably end up moving categories and archives from the sidebar onto their own page, and linking the header image to the home page, instead of that link in the sidebar.

My mother, Nana and I went to a party shop today - to sort out the rest of my party. Can I just say right now: I do NOT take responsibility for the cost of my 21st birthday. I refuse, absolutely will not accept it. Everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I didn’t want a huge bash, and in fact when I originally planned the party, I didn’t want alcohol. At all. Then my aunty refused to come, so I had to give in.

That’s not the point though, the point is that I cannot possible be held responsible for something that I have had almost no say in, that I didn’t even want in the first place! Although.. as the date draws closer, I find myself getting excited. Just a tiny bit, mind you! Nothing to get excited over.