When I opened Thunderbird today, I noticed that AVG’s e-mail scanner was doing something really strange - scanning e-mails! I never get e-mail, so I was (understandably) pretty excited. Then, even better, Thunderbird informed me that it was all in my TF mail account! “Yippee,” I squealed, “I have mail from my adoring fans!”

Imagine my disappointment when I realised the adoring fans wanted to enlarge my (non-existent) penis and sell me cheap (and probably virus-ridden) software. So, yep. That’s how you know you’ve hit the bigtime: you get spam via your website contact form. Not only that, you get promises of “she will love you more than any other guy”. Now THAT is so worth my money.

If you’ll excuse me I need to go and waste a few hours trying to submit a form (that was supposed to be submitted yesterday, but guess what DIDN’T come in the mail..?) so I will get paid.