The Smallest Of Actions.
I was waiting in the car one afternoon, enjoying the first touch of summer - blue sky, warm sun, light breeze - when a van came around the corner, too sharp. The tires squealed a little, before the driver corrected himself (and it was a he, a he with a bushy beard and tattooed arms) and in my mind, I saw the events unfold, as clearly as they would have had the swerve not been corrected.
The van veered off to the right, and I saw how easily it could have continued. A blur of white, hurtling towards my side of the car, the driver gripping the steering wheel tightly. My life, in the hands of a stranger with hairy knuckles. In my imaginary scenario, I slid across to the other side of the car and opened the door, throwing myself clear of the wreck, just in the nick of time.
Sitting in the car, I lowered my head and turned away from the van.
Of course, nothing happened. Of course. I heard the van rumble past, back on track. When I peered through my hair, the road was empty. Still, the action bothered me. If the van had lost control - if it had indeed veered off course - I wouldn’t have known. Not until I heard the squeal of rubber on bitumen, or saw the metal next to me collapse inwards and tear open. Perhaps I wouldn’t have known at all.
It bothered me, that I turned away.
Tags: thinking
January 3rd, 2009 at 2:47 am
Slightly of topic, but there appears to be only one entry per month in the archive, where did all the other posts go?
As for turning away, that’s a natural response, the mind is trying to make a situation go away by not seeing it. A bit like how small children think that they are invisible if they can’t see you.
Oh and a happy new year
January 3rd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I did something to my theme, and now EVERYTHING is playing up. I haven’t sat down to fix it yet, but I will. Soon.
I always thought I was past the ‘I can’t see you, so you can’t see me’ stage. Damn. ;) Happy new year to you, too!