I wonder how many poor, unsuspecting souls will be lured in by my cannily crafted title! We shall see. However, it is not entirely incorrect. I want to discuss with you all how to write a successful short story for my class. You see, being a talented writer isn’t all it takes. To succeed in my class, you must do something highly original and a little cryptic, with a touch of humour thrown in for good measure!

Failing that, throw in a reference that the female members of the class will relate to, and you’re good to go.

I know, I know. You’re tired of hearing about how horrible the critiquing - or lack thereof - is in my short story class. Guess what? I’m not done talking about it, particularly after tonight’s lesson. We looked at two stories by people in the class, who I will refer to as V and D. One story was set in the future (titled AG) and was highly tech-oriented; the other was set in the present (title TV) and dealt with an abusive relationship.

Guess which one got the best response? Ordinarily, if you guessed ‘the well-written one’, you would be correct. Unfortunately, in this case? Dead wrong. The abusive relationship story got the reviews and the glory, despite the fact that - in my opinion - it wasn’t as skilfully crafted as the other. So, what did I think of them, you ask? They were both flawed, this is true; yet one was enjoyable despite the errors.

AG was well-written, although there were far too many instances of words being repeated close together. Occasionally, I noticed that the sentences became more like lists, and there were quite a few spelling errors. Aside from that, the ideas were original, the information was presented logically without overwhelming the reader, and it had a lovely finish. It also brought up many issues about the future and sparked discussion.

TV on the other hand, repeated whole phrases throughout the story. The beginning paragraphs jumped between different generations, and I found it difficult to suspend my disbelief and follow the plot based on what information was given. Similes abounded, and not in a cute way like baby deer. The ending wasn’t spectacular, and I certainly wasn’t interested in the main character or what she was going through.

Of course, this is only my opinion. Perhaps I’m not even qualified to comment; after all, I didn’t volunteer that my story be read out to the class. I just would have liked it if D had received the credit I felt he was due. V’s story wasn’t spectacular in my opinion, and I feel as though it outshone AG because of the content, and not because of the writing. It touched a chord, so to speak.

See, we only have four or five men in our short story class. So, roughly a quarter of the class is male. TV was about a woman who can’t resist a man - apparently because of his blue, blue eyes - and leaves her family for him, only to discover that she’s addicted to his love. That’s what we were told, anyway. The main character’s behaviour didn’t really reflect that, and there’s another gripe; most of the story wasn’t ’shown’.

Because AG was quite technologically heavy and most of the class is struggling with basic computer skills, I think people had trouble relating to it. So, when TV was read out and the women realised that it was about a woman’s struggles in an abusive relationship, they allowed their emotions - effectively their heartstrings - to be played with like a puppet. The actual writing was of no consequence to them once that was revealed.

I sound bitter, don’t I? Soon I’ll be shaking my walking stick and muttering. “Back in my day, we had to write on bits of bark, with a leaky pen and ink that stained our fingers! Uphill both ways!”