I’m sure you are all waiting, breath held in anticipation, to hear how much weight I have lost since I declared I was going to lose five kilograms by the end of June. First of all, I would like to say this: I am not good at exercising. And by ‘not good’, I do  of course mean, ‘I find it impossible to motivate myself to exercise’.

That being said, it should come as no surprise to learn that I have lost a total of zero killograms. That’s right, ZERO KILLograms. You know why they’re KILLograms? Because trying to lose them is killing me. How do people get excited about this stuff, this getting sweaty and red-faced and out of breath? By running, I mean.

There are other ways to get sweaty which are definitely more fun. (Hi, Mum!)

So. On the one hand, we have the not-losing-weight thing, which is less of a thing, and more of a problem. On the other hand, I managed to maintain my weight for an entire month, which means I didn’t actually gain weight. This is the part where I get worked up and vow to exercise more, and eat better, and stop drinking Coke.

Honestly, though… am I going to do it? No. Those of you who were thinking ‘Yes, maybe, you could’? No, just… no. My best chance of exercising it more is by incorporating it into my daily routine, and although I’ll be trying to do that, I’m not actively going to ‘exercise’. I hate it; the whole idea, and the act itself.

What I am going to do, is continue walking to the station every morning – when I go back to class – instead of taking the bus. I’m going to walk a little quicker, and try to get my walking pace back to where it was before I got a boyfriend and discovered walking slowly, hand in hand, while smelling flowers and la-dee-dah.

And, I’m going to eat whatever I want. Because dieting sucks. Also because I have no willpower, and I’ve realised that I should be working around my lifestyle, not trying to conform to an ‘ideal’ lifestyle that someone else defines. Which is my way of saying I have no willpower, and I’m too lazy and broke to change my diet.

Three cheers for being curvy!